


Kyle's Boomin' Quest

by KPesh123



Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [18]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Writing, Beer, Best Friends, Chases, Childhood Friends, College, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Dark Comedy, Drinking, Drugs, Excessive Drinking, Friendship, Good Writing, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Drinking, Late Night Writing, Marijuana, Mystery, Other, Party, Partying, Quests, References to Drugs, Riddles, Shooting Guns, Smoking, Summer, Summer Vacation, Treasure Hunting, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Vodka, Whiskey & Scotch, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KPesh123/pseuds/KPesh123
Summary: Kyle and The Boy's go on a difficult quest for a highly sought after product.
Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867981
Comments: 6





	Kyle's Boomin' Quest

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last of the Kyle's Boomin' Adventures for a while. I am in the process of writing more. I will be posting other stories and works in the mean time. Please read the other stories of Kyle's Boomin' Adventures however.

Kyle’s Boomin Quest

It was already the beginning of August, which meant the end of summer vacation for Kyle. With only twenty two days left of vacation before Kyle would be shipped back off to his shitty college, he and the boys were determined to make the most of the remaining weeks they had left together. The boys were just as anxious as Kyle since when he leaves, that would be the symbolic end of their reign in the summertime. Unfortunately for the boys, a hurricane had come ripping into Parkersville, leaving the boys inside their houses with nothing to do but day drink and smoke weed in their rooms. Bored out of their minds, the boys got on a group call in order to pass the time. 

“Dude I’m so fucking bored.” Malcolm stated.

“I know, I only have like three weeks left, this is time being wasted.” Kyle said.

“It really sucks that you have to leave so soon.” Nick commented. “Like where did the summer go?” 

“It really did go by quickly didn’t it.” Gianni said. “Quarantine felt like years but once classes ended and we started doing shit again it flew by so quickly.” 

“I’m so fucking bored that jacking off isn’t even as thrilling anymore.” Malcolm commented.

“That’s how you know he’s really bored.” Mark added.

“Yea usually you can go for hours.” Jay said.

“Well the incest rape was fun to watch for a few hours but after a while you know what to expect.” Malcolm explained.

“These are some first world problems right here.” Jon stated. “Oh hey Tom.” 

“Mark!!! Yo Mark!!!” Tom yelled. “Check out these blunts I just rolled! Mark!!!” 

Tom was a distant member of the group. Every now and then he would show up to parties and other events. Chances of him showing were always slim, no one knew whether he would actually show or not. There were times where Tom would plan to come along with the boys but at the last minute he would back out just to smoke weed with his clout chasing Pornhub girlfriend. However, Tom would show up in the group calls constantly. The boys would be having an important discussion, whether it be political or the planning of an event, Tom would always come in halfway through just to change the topic and impress Mark with whatever weed related substances he had. This time was no different.

“Guys look at these blunts I just rolled. This was a Black and Mild, this one a Backwoods. I’m straight up vibing dawg.” Tom said.

“That’s great Tom.” Jay said frustrated. 

“Yo did you guys hear about the stash and dash this guy Sherlock is doing?” Tom asked.

“What the fuck is a stash and dash?” Kyle asked.

“So this guy Sherloock is a weed dealer, he has a box full of weed and smoke appliances hidden away somewhere in the county. He will post a clue tomorrow as to where it is tomorrow at 5:00 in the afternoon.” Tom explained.

“Oh bet I’m so down for another adventure.” Malcolm said.

“Imagine all that weed in our possession, we’d get turnt as fuck!” Mark exclaimed.

“Yo we gotta be careful there. It isn’t just a bunch of chill stoners looking for weed, there will be crazy people there ready to mug who wins.” Jay warned.

“Oh yeah you right.” Gianni commented.

“We should bring our guns in order to protect ourselves.” Nick stated.

“You guys are fucking idiots.” Jon said. “You’re walking into a bloodbath.” 

“You’re still coming Jon.” Mark said sternly.

“Fuck.”

This would not be the first time Kyle would do something weed related with Tom. Only a few weeks prior Kyle assisted Malcolm in a drug deal with Tom. Tom had a pair of shoes he was going to sell to Kyle for a cheap price of twenty dollars. Tom also had seven bags of edibles which Malcolm was going to buy for seventy dollars. Kyle came up with the perfect plan to do both. Both Tom and Kyle would go to Malcolm’s house where each transaction would take place. Since Malcolm had no backbone, he decided to hang out and get stoned with Jay prior to when the transaction was supposed to go down. Kyle drove to Jay’s house in order to pick Malcolm up. After ten minutes of waiting in his car, Jay called Kyle and told him to come inside. Kyle walked into an unfathomable display. Malcolm was stoned beyond belief, reducing his mind down to one of a toddler just prior to starting preschool. Malcolm was incapable of normal speech, slurring all of his words and rambling on about nonsense. It looked as if an impromptu hangout started since Mark and Gianni came over as well. Malcolm started laughing uncontrollably which sounded like an orca whale and was fascinated with his reflection in the mirror. Needless to say Malcolm was too obliterated to make the drug deal. Mark and Kyle decided to go to Tom’s house in order to do the transaction for Malcolm.

After forgetting Malcolm’s money and having to go all the way back to Jay’s house just to have Gianni bring it out in front of all the neighbors, Mark and Kyle finally made it to Tom’s house. Tom lived in the neighboring town of Red Bank in a townhouse which was built over a mini strip mall. Behind the building was an unpaved lot that looked like the stereotypical place for drug deals to go down. As soon as they parked Kyle knew this was sketchy. Mark and Kyle waited for a few minutes just to have Tom approach them. There they got out of the car. From an outsider's point of view, this looked like a classic drug deal. Kyle gave Tom the money for his shoes, he put that in the front seat. Mark then gave Malcolm’s money for the weed. Tom handed Mark the bags, which were out in the open, hidden inside nothing. Mark and Kyle looked at each other not knowing what to do. They attempted to put the bags inside the shoe box. This didn’t work because the bags stuck out of the box in plain sight. Mark then sped back to Jay’s, with no consideration that cops were on the road and could bust the two for federal amounts of weed. Luckily for them, they got away with it and Malcolm gave Kyle a bag for free. 

The day of the stash and dash was bright and sunny since the hurricane passed through. Tree branches were down everywhere and roads were closed. All of the boys met up at Jay’s room an hour earlier and had their phones ready to see the drop. All were there except for Tom. Mark decided to call him.

“Yeah?” Tom asked.

“Bro where the fuck are you?” Mark asked.

“Oh yea, I’m not coming.” 

“What?!” 

“Yea I’m with my girl and we’re fucking pretty hard. This tape might end up on Pornhub.”

“You dick this entire thing was your idea.” 

“My bad.” 

Mark hung up the phone. As usual Tom had bailed on yet another event the boys planned. This wouldn’t stop them from getting the stash though. At 5:01pm Sherlock posted a riddle on his story which gave away the location. 

“With clothes of green, and a very long walk, search for me at the bottom, I’m right by the dock.” The riddle read. 

“What the fuck does that mean?!” Malcolm yelled.

“With clothes of green, that sounds like a forest.” Kyle said.

“A very long walk must mean a hike.” Jon added.

“Search for me at the bottom, I’m right by the dock, I know where this is!” Mark shouted.

“Where?” Gianni asked.

“It’s at Hartshorne by the small beach and the dock area!” Mark exclaimed. 

“Oh yea it all makes sense now.” Nick said.

“What the fuck are we doing let’s move!” Jay yelled.

The boys ran for Kyle’s car. He turned the car on and floored it. Kyle had never gone so fast before. He passed other cars in front of him and ran red lights almost causing accidents. A cop was on the other side but decided not to bother with it thinking he would rather choke a minority. Within seven minutes the boys arrived at Hartshorne, a record for the boys. Once Kyle parked, they jumped out of the car and sprinted for the dock area. Malcolm tumbled on the way down bruising his knees, besides that the boys made it to the dock safely. The boys caught their breaths and proceeded to look for the box. After fifteen minutes of looking on the small beach and in the bushes around it, Gianni found a weed hat left on the ground next to a tree by the water. Gianni lifted the hat to find one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. A gold box with a pot leaf embroidered on the top of it. A note was taped to the top of it.

“Congrats fellow stoner, you have found the stash. Blaze up fucker.” The note read.

“Guys I found it!” Gianni yelled. 

“I don’t think so.” A voice said, cocking a gun.

Gianni, both knees on the ground, looked up to find none other than Pawlie and the Pit Crew standing over him. Pawlie had a gun pointed at Gianni’s head. The Pit Crew pointed their guns at the boys.

“Make one move and I blow his brains out.” Pawlie hissed. “Hand me the box Gianni.”

“It’s not yours you jackass.” Kyle said.

“Shut up loser.” Pawlie replied.

“We were here first!” Malcolm yelled. 

“Aye yo let me get that box from y’all.” A random ghetto kid said out of nowhere.

The kid was about to pull a knife when Pawlie shot him dead center in the head killing him without looking. Pawlie shoved Gianni down and shot randomly at the boys to scare them off. Kyle immediately took out his gun and started shooting back. The Pit Crew ran away and the boys followed. The boys took out their guns and started shooting Pit kids, taking a few out while running up the hill. Finally Pawlie and the remaining Pit kids made it to the parking lot which was up the hill. Eventually the boys ran out of bullets but continued the chase. The boys ran up to find Pawlie standing above them with his gun pointed at them.

“It’s over boys, I have the high ground.” Pawlie said.

“You underestimate our power!” Malcolm yelled.

“Don’t try it!” Pawlie responded.

Malcolm proceeded to run up the hill only to be shot in both knees and his left arm, falling further down the hill. The boys looked in shock at the dramatic display occurring. 

“You guys were the chosen ones! It was said you would destroy the hate between us, not join it! It was you who would bring balance between us! Not leave it in darkness!” Pawlie yelled.

“I HATE YOU!!!” Malcolm shouted in rage. 

“You were my brother's boys! I loved you!” Pawlie shouted, proceeding to walk off.

“Damn we really just watched a whole Star Wars scene right here didn’t we.” Mark commented.

“The thing is he doesn’t even know half of us.” Nick said. 

The boys picked up Malcolm and put bandaids on his wounds hoping for the best. The boys then drove to Red Bank where they would figure out what to do next. The boys walked into Starbucks, they would never usually walk into such an establishment filled with pretentious liberal art kids who hate capitalism yet still come for coffee. Since the boys didn’t have money on them, Starbucks was the cheapest place for them. Gianni, Nick, and Mark ordered coffee, the rest sat at a table looking in disgust, not knowing what to get. Once the three came back to the table, they brainstormed about ways to get back at Pawlie. While sitting in Starbucks, Malcolm noticed a strange face.

“Hey Kyle.” Malcolm said.

“Yeah?” Kyle responded.

“Look over there, is that John Hinkley?” 

“The dude who shot Regan?” 

“Yea.” 

“Why the fuck would John Hinkley be in a Starbucks in Red Bank?” 

“I’m almost certain. JOHN!!” Malcolm shouted, proceeding to hide his face behind a newspaper. “Did he look?” 

“What?” Kyle asked.

“If I yell you have to look. JOHN HINKLEY!!” Malcolm shouted again, hiding his face. 

“Yeah?” Hinkley said annoyed walking over to the table.

“Holy shit it is John Hinkley!” Kyle yelled.

“What the fuck do you guys want?” Hinkley asked.

“Why are you here?” Malcolm asked. 

“I happen to enjoy espressos for your information.” 

“No I mean why are you here in Red Bank.” 

“Oh, I heard Jodie Foster is in the area so I kinda have to be here.” 

“Ah, Well good luck.” 

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it.” 

The boys looked in shock as the man who attempted to kill Ronald Regan in order to impress Jodie Foster was just at their table talking to Kyle and Malcolm. John walked out of the cafe where Colin walked by. Colin had his notorious Regan/Bush shirt on and saw Hinkley walk out of Starbucks, his face became red. Colin walked over to Hinkley who was getting in his car and punched the former stalker in the side of the head. While Colin was beating the ever living fuck out of Hinkley, Gianni alerted the boys of something he saw on his phone. 

“Guys! I know where Pawlie is!” Gianni yelled.

“Where?” Jay asked.

“He’s at that spot on the reservoir, he just posted.” Gianni responded.

“Our spot?” Nick asked.

“No he has another spot, but I’ve been there with him before.” Gianni said. 

“Ight bet let’s go.” Mark commented.

The boys left the Starbucks, a bloody John Hinkley lied on the ground next to them. The boys got in Kyle’s car and drove to Colts Neck where Gianni would guide the way to Pawlie's spot. Pawlie’s spot was hidden from most people. A small swimming hole on the reservoir next to a residential road. The boys knew it was the spot when they found Pawlie’s car parked to the side. Kyle parked behind him and they loaded their guns. The boys ventured down the tree covered hill to find Pawlie next to the water with an unlit joint in his hand. Pawlie was about to light it when he heard the boys coming. The tables had turned, the boys were now standing above Pawlie with loaded guns pointed at him. 

“When I last saw you I was but a learner, now I am the master.” Malcolm said tauntingly.

“Only a master of evil, Malc.” Pawlie responded.

“Jesus enough with the fucking Star Wars referances!” Kyle yelled.

Pawlie proceeded to drop the box and run up to the boys where Kyle shot him in the leg. Pawlie fell into the water and attempted to regain his composure. Mark ran and picked up the box. The boys ran up the hill and drove off back to Malcolm’s house. The boys ordered Bubakoo’s and blasted The Dirty Heads. They smoked their newly found weed well into the night to celebrate their successful quest. 

  
  


I hope you enjoyed my boomin quest, some guy legitimately did this. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> More to come in Kyle's Boomin' Adventures.


End file.
